Thoughts
Nov 2, 2025
All things considered, I have a lot of good going for me. Relatively gainful employment. Some good relationships. Some family, including a brand new addition. Shelter. Food. The basics of what constitutes a life. Some luxuries as well. Access to a gym and yoga classes. Streamed television shows. A computer and enough knowledge to be dangerous with it. A car that starts damn near every time I tell it to. By many accounts, I have it going on.
Should there be more? Should I be pursuing a continuation of my ’lineage’? Dreaming bigger? Aspiring? I am not old, nor am I young anymore. I feel as though I am in a good phase of life. Young enough to be able to physically do whatever I want to. Old enough to not be a fucking idiot while doing it.
Comparison is a poison. It is so easy to stumble upon the prodigies of our time. Hyper talented or vastly intelligent. Driven to achieve on a daily basis. I see these people, young or old, and I don’t get it. Some days it is hard to even get out of my bed and do basic chores. I know this is called depression. But I have convinced myself it is possible to overcome. Why then do I fail to overcome it some days? It must be me. Failing to do the hard thing. Falling back on the easy thing.
I don’t plan to make many posts of this nature. Self involved and emotional. But today I guess I don’t care. Sometimes it just needs to be let out.